There I was standing on my front lawn just shrieking, truly howling in deep despair. And I did not care at all about the scene I was making. I just wanted my little girl back home with me. My oldest, first born, precious 9-year-old little girl was missing.
No Where to Be Found
As I look back on it now, I realize in a few weeks I will be able to laugh at myself a little. But for now there is nothing I would change about the choices I made when I saw Kayla’s helmet laying on the sidewalk and her scooter next to it. She was nowhere to be found and this had never happened before.
A Little Independence
This afternoon, I decided to try something new with Kayla. I decided to try to let go just a little. So for the very first time ever, I gave her the opportunity to ride her bike around the block by herself.
Strict Instructions
Before today, Kayla has never gone anywhere alone without a parent or another supervising adult. I gave her strict instructions:
- Ride on the sidewalk, not the street.
- Go around the block only one time.
- Come check back with me.
The Other Kids Get To
I have seen other kids Kayla’s age riding their bikes around the neighborhood on their own and thought it was probably time for my big third grader to be able to do so. I mean besides, I was walking myself to and from school and to dance classes unattended when I was her age and I made it OK.
But Where is She?
I was still inside the house when Kayla left. I came outside a few minutes later and I noticed her abandoned scooter and helmet. So I began looking for her and started to get worried. But the full on panic did not start until after I had returned from driving around the block and still no Kayla.
Someone Took My Child
While I was driving around the block, my dear friend who lives next door stood outside and watched for my daughter. When I got back and had not found her, I was out of ideas. I had already checked inside our home, at the neighbors house, in the backyard, the park and the loop around the neighborhood. It was then, in that moment, I had no doubt in my mind that someone had taken my child.
The 911 Phone Call
I called 911 while my friend packed her concerned children in the car and she too drove around the block looking for my daughter. Meanwhile, over my cell phone, I gave the police all of the information I could. While I was on the phone I raced up and down the stairs to be sure she wasn’t somewhere in the house and sadly she was not. After I had satisfied the dispatcher by going through her long protocol of questions including informing her that Kayla had now been missing for about 20 minutes, she had agreed to dispatch the police.
I Thought I Saw Her
At that moment, I looked down the sidewalk and saw her. I thought it was my Kayla, but I just stood there with the dispatcher on the line and I held my breath as the minivan approached until it stopped and there she was!
The Biggest Hug Ever
Looking very confused, she hopped out the van. I was barely able to say a word to my dear friend who had helped find her, I just put my arm around Kayla and walked into the house. After we got inside, I hugged Kayla and sat her down on the stairs. We talked about what happened. It was truly a misunderstanding.
A Change of Plans
It turns out Kayla did decide to walk instead of ride her scooter which she did not realize was an important change to talk to me about. Also she decided to take a longer walk, which we sometimes do together as a family in our neighborhood. It is basically a larger circle walk instead of the small one that I told her she could take. I suppose I could be angry with her, but the truth is this was such a learning opportunity.
A Lesson Learned
I realized that there is just no way that I am ready to allow her to go anywhere on her own. I think my reaction helped her to begin to grasp why she can’t. I am hoping that seeing me freak out at the possibility of someone taking Kayla helped her and our neighbor's young girls ages 9, 7 and 5 as well. I feel so bad that they were scared by my reaction but I am sure that it was a better teaching moment than any safety video they ever watch in school.
I truly believe I did the right thing by acting fast when I noticed Kayla was missing.
Close to Home
The fact is, child abduction is many parents’ biggest fear. Here are a few quick facts on the topic:
- In 80 percent of abductions by strangers, the first contact between the child and the abductor occurs within a quarter mile of the child's home.
- Most potential abductors grab their victims on the street or try to lure them into their vehicles.
- About 74 percent of the victims of nonfamily child abduction are girls.
- Acting quickly is critical. Seventy-four percent of abducted children who are ultimately murdered are dead within three hours of the abduction.
Not Worth the Risk
Having someone abduct your child is a horrible thing to think about. After having briefly experienced the intense emotions involved, I have decided to err on the side of caution. I would prefer to be able to give my child more freedom to explore on her own the way I was able to when I was little, but I have learned that one independent spin around the neighborhood block is just not worth the risk.
http://www.parents.com/kids/safety/stranger-safety/child-abduction-facts/
